And now, I have to do it all over again. This time, with my left knee.

My only remaining good knee.

While playing basketball, I jumped up for a rebound...but landed awkwardly, and felt my knee pop out. The ligaments pulled it right back in, but right then and there I knew something went wrong. I thought it was bad enough having to go through the pain and the feeling of complete and utter helplessness once already, having no control of where I want to go and when I want to go there. Not being able to crouch, stand, walk, run...anything...without excruciating pain. Finding out who your friends really are, who really cares about how you're feeling and who frankly doesn't give a damn. Pessimistic view, yes. But I think I've earned the right to be angry when this has to happen two years in a row, and this one isn't the same injury - the emergency doctor warned that I might need surgery for this one, for either a torn miniscus or ACL. If I do need surgery, all the plans I had this semester - getting in shape, getting a job, studying hard without distractions - are all screwed.

You think God's trying to tell me something?

Anyway...on a lighter note, I saw Vince's McDonald's commercial for the first time today. Even though he was making a fool of himself, prancing around in the elevator, I still have to say I'm really impressed how far he's come in his modelling career, yet stay as down to earth as he is. Congrats man! Don't forget me when you've become rich and famous...I'll be right there beside you waiting for handouts. =) (Click here to see the commercial in Mandarin)

Song of the moment: Anabret's Until Morning (click to download from Anabret's site).

So apologies for not blogging in almost 20 days. I've been fairly pre-occupied every night (yet I somehow still manage to drag my homework and studying on and on...) And I'm too tired tonight to even begin to try to sum up the emotional rollercoaster that I've been through the past couple of weeks. So I'll leave you with the lyrics to my latest song of the moment...Bryan Adams & Hans Zimmer's Here I Am...

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am

Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Yeah here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong

[Chorus]
Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me

It's been a real struggle with my mom...I worry about her a lot and I try to be home as much as possible now, which is a huge change for me. I'm used to having a family that's self-sufficient - with the odd exception here and there, I don't even have to really take special care of my grandpa - and all of a sudden I have to do everything for my mom, when I'm used to being the one who's spoiled and pampered. I'm not complaining at all - it's just different - and it's a good learning experience too. I guess I have to grow up sometime =) On the brighter side, now I'm guaranteed to have a car to drive....haha.....always look at the good side of things right? =P

So back to my regularly scheduled blogging for a bit....and the return of the Song of the Moment....this moment belongs to Wherever You Will Go by The Calling.

And I screwed it up big time.

While trying to give him more hard drive space to use (he only had 100kb left on his C drive...) with PartitionMagic, it crashes halfway through the job, ruining everything. Luckily I backed up everything beforehand. Or so I thought. Now he can't use Tian Zi, his Chinese input program, which he's been using only for the past 10 years (which also means....it doesn't exist anymore). So I succeeded not in deleting everything, but the next worst thing - preventing him from doing anything more.

If only I could turn back the hands of time....

Nothing's really working yet, but it will soon hopefully, if I have time before school starts again on (gasp) Monday...ironically it'll probably be back to school before I can start blogging often again...I've had one of the most memorable Christmas and New Year holidays this year....