Idiot Lady: "Hi, is Catherine home?"
Me: "No, she's out of town on vacation."
Idiot: "Okay, well, I need to talk to her."
Me: "I'm sorry, but there's no way even I can contact her."
Idiot: "Okay then, can I swing by and talk to her in person?"
Me: (thinking to myself, was I not clear?) "Ummm...she's NOT HERE, she's in the Carribbean."
Idiot: "Okay, well Catherine said I could come by anytime and talk to her."
Me: "When did you last talk to her?"
Idiot: "Two weeks ago."
Me: (grinding my teeth) "I'm sure if you came by two weeks ago, she would be here. But she's not here now."
Idiot: "Okay, so will she be back later in the afternoon today?"
Me: (getting very, very impatient) "Umm...no, she just left on Thursday. She'll be gone for the next couple of days."
Idiot: "I'm sure she can come back in a couple of hours if it's important?"
Me: (pulling out my hair) "The Carribbean is a couple of hours away by flight. If you wanted to talk to her, you should've talked to her two weeks ago."
Idiot: "Hmmm....well, I really want to pick up an order."
Me: (she does NOT need my mom to be here to pickup an order...) "Have you placed an order yet?"
Idiot: "No."
Me: "Have you placed an order before?"
Idiot: "Yes, last month."
Me: "Well, you then you should already know that you can't pickup an order unless you've already placed it. You need to talk to Hong Kong first."
Idiot: "Okay, I'll be over in an hour to pick it up."
Me: (getting increasingly frustrated) "No, my instructions are, I'm not releasing any orders unless you talk to Hong Kong first. Hong Kong will email me with the instructions of what to do once you've placed your order. Until then, I can't do anything."
Idiot: "Okay, I'll call Hong Kong now and then I'll be over to pickup my order."
Me: (this is at 3pm in the afternoon...TORONTO TIME) "It's in the middle of the night in Hong Kong. Nobody will answer your call."
Idiot: "Okay, well, let me talk to Catherine then."
Me: "CATHERINE IS NOT HOME!! SHE'S IN THE CARRIBBEAN!!"
Idiot: "Oh. Well, I'll come over in an hour then."
Me: "What for?"
Idiot: "To pickup my order."
Me: (getting ready to tell her to shove her order up her ass) "Ma'am, Catherine is not home. You haven't even placed an order yet. I won't give you anything. I've explained to you over and over that what you want just cannot happen right now."
Idiot: "Why not?"
Me: (that's it, I've had it) "Because you haven't followed the proper way of placing an order, and because the world does not revolve around your timetable. You can't change the timezones so that Hong Kong will be awake. You can't change my mom's flight so that she arrives in the afternoon today to take care of you. I won't be home in an hour anyway, and even if I was to be home, I can't give you anything. I can't do anything about it. Too bad."
Idiot: "Okay then, I'll come over tomorrow."
Me: (completely exasperated) "ARRRRGGGHHH....you know what?? Call back next week when Catherine comes back. Bye." (slams down the phone)

I'm seriously considering putting the phone on auto answering machine and not take any calls anymore because that was just one of many calls from completely moronic, incompetent, idiotic, stupid, dimwitted asswipes. So if you wanna get a hold of ME, and not my parents, call my cell.

[sotm] Agallah - Midnight Club.

It almost felt weird going to a party like that, surrounded by a lot of ppl I know while being introduced to and meeting a gadzillion new people. Last party I went to, I didn't know anyone and had a relatively miserable time. But tonight was different, and I'm glad Frank dragged me out. In fact, I even ended up enjoying beer, which is a shock since I hate beer. It took me my first beer and a little while for me to warm up to the party, but in the end I had a great time.

Yet my good mood can evaporate within one fleeting moment.

I feel sad for what's transpired, wishing that things could've turned out much differently than they have. The damage is already done, but yet I find it incredibly difficult to move on.

[sotm] Goo Goo Dolls - Iris.

Let's make something clear here (but please don't take what I'm about to write seriously...this is all in good fun!). Just because I'm metro doesn't mean I'm looking to breast feed my kids as the article oh-so-succinctly suggests. Sure, you could argue that some metros are too far from the stereotypical man. Some have even gotten a pedicure (cough...Ca$h Money....cough cough). But one thing you definitely, positively cannot accuse us of being, is a pansy. When I think of this, three other metros come to mind: Frank, Rick and Carlo. We're more macho than half the male population out there. We work out. We can kick some serious ass. I'd like to see these so-called "real men" who criticize us try to take any of us on. I mean seriously, Harry friggin' Potter and his slick wizard wear would kick Bruce Willis's ass. =)

Okay, so L'Oreal wants Ben Affleck to be their new spokesman. That's fine. Ben's probably secretly gay anyway since he passed up on J-Lo's booty. But ever wonder how metros like Ben have hot women flock to them? That's because we don't turn into wifebeaters like "real men". We don't puke all over the place and expect women to find that sexy like "real men". We don't get beer bellies to show off the amount of cheap alcohol we consume like "real men". We don't scowl and be angry all the time - we'd rather live life happy. We're civilized. We have culture. We're renaissance men, jack-of-all-trades. Secretly, you "real men" are jealous of us. You can't stand the fact that we get all the attention. Face it boys, it's hip these days to be well-moisturized. This is the new modern world. Get over yourselves and maybe I'll let you join Justin's School of Metrosexual Living. Enrollment is limited. Act fast.

So James, in rebuttal to you, your MSN name, and your article...I say...go watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Maybe you can learn a thing or two. LOL. =)

[sotm] Nick Cannon & R. Kelly - Gigolo.

- Sarah McLachlan, Stupid

So most of my blogging time will be devoted to that blog instead of this one until the 12th, which is my last booking date. But since Jo's complaining I don't blog anymore, this blog is devoted exclusively to her, so she knows that she's not my "last resort". LOL.

And no, you may not steal any of my reservations. You're welcome to put yourself on the waiting list if you're waiting out for any of my cancellations, however. Either that, or you pay me $100 and I'll give you my reservations to Auberge du Pommier and Avalon. Heh heh...

I've been pretty much in a bad mood over the past couple of days, but I somehow end up relatively happy at the end of the day. Here's the secret, in case you ever wanna cheer me up: take me out for a good meal. Good food always melts all my bad feelings away. =)

[sotm] Abandoned Pools - Start Over.